Today

Wondering what you're doing today.
I'm just sitting at work thinking.
I know you know that I love you, but
I really just wanna find some way to show you.
I've contemplated everything...
Writing a book or a song you can sing.
Nothing seems to come out right.
It never does.
Thats how it works.
Never can find just the right words
To portray the truth inside.
A pictures worth a thousand words
But every one I've had to hide.

At first looking at pictures of you
Was something too hard for me to do.
Its been over a year now and since time has passed
I think I'm ready to pull them out at last.
In the beginning seeing your smile was hard.
Now its what I live for.
I couldn't help thinking of what I was missing.
But that smile is why you're not with me.

If you were with me I'd never be home
Between work and school you'd be alone.
I wouldn't be able to kiss you goodnight.
Rarely could I hold you tight.
The money I make just couldn't cut it
So I'd be working two or three jobs just to provide.
You wouldn't know who I was inside.
You wouldn't get the chance to see
What a good mom I could be.
So you are with your mom and dad.
They're the best you could ever have had.

I'm blessed they let me come around
Gosh I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't.

I have so much I want you to know.
But in time your curiosity will grow.
We'll sit down with your mom and dad
And talk about the good and bad.
Thankfully, everything they've heard,
But you...I'm scared I'll lose the words.

I never want you to see me cry,
But oneday I know you will.
I'll struggle to get through our hug when I know its our final goodbye.

Listening to the news today made me think...
I don't even want to think.
Because what I thought about made me sick...
A father who watched his son die...
A mother who had no clue why.
You and your brother are my true loves.
I pray to My God above,
Please don't take these kids before me.
I'd lay my life down in a heartbeat.

I may not know everything about you.
May not know what makes you cry.
I might not know how to make you smile
But one thing I know...
I would die.
I would give my life for you.
Forever, that promise will stand true.
You are my son.
You are my love.
My Father sent you from His heart.
I ask from this earth may you not depart.